If you had the chance to talk to your teenaged self, what would you say? What advice would you give? Would you tell yourself to do things differently or allow yourself to continue on the path you chose? I have read 2 posts like this recently and they got me thinking: Mammywoo and Melanie both gave a touching and powerful message to their younger selves. I jotted down a few thoughts, racked my brains, revisited a few unpleasant memories and here it is. This is my letter to me, a younger me.
Hello! It’s you.... but older. Not old, just older. I know you think 31 is REALLY old but it really isn’t. Life is good. I am telling you this because there are a few things you need to know and a few things I want you to do differently. Ultimately I am letting you know it’s all going to turn out grand.....but perhaps a little different than you expected.
|Stop smiling like this in EVERY photo|
First of all, stop dressing like a boy. I know your sister Louise is the skinny fashionable one in your eyes but you are skinny too and would look much better if you didn’t wear such baggy jeans and t-shirts and DM boots all the time. Cut your hair.
Speaking of Louise. You are lucky to have her as your sister. Don't lose sight of that. Work on your relationship and make it as strong as you can because one day it'll be tested to its limit. It'll all turn out ok, but don't take her for granted. She and John will gift you with 2 of the most precious things in your life.
|Maddie and Sam|
I know you are suffering with bad skin right now, and I’m really sorry to say that won’t go away for a while yet. Just don’t pick at them. Buy GOOD make up and don’t wear too much. You are beautiful, no matter what the boys in school are saying. I don’t know why they are saying it, I really don’t, but don’t listen. You’re not ugly.
|Don't do this EVER again.|
Grow up a little bit. Don’t take people too seriously and learn how to know when they are winding you up. You are naturally funny and outgoing – don’t force it. Stop being so mouthy and opinionated because you think it makes you look cool. You look stupid.
Work harder in school. Spend more time paying attention in lessons and less time talking about boys with Alice. And speaking of Alice, wake up to what she is going through. Stop burying your head in the sand because you don’t understand it. There are plenty of ways to support her. Pretending an eating disorder doesn’t exist because it is too difficult to comprehend isn’t one of them.
|You'll even be at each other's weddings!|
The Robbie Williams obsession is a bit weird, your cousins are right. Just don't tell them I said that. Don't let Mark near your Robbie cushion (in fact, make life easier for yourself and don't own the cushion in the first place).
Boys. Bloody boys. Stop thinking that you need to determine if every boy you meet is a future husband. Stop looking to boys for comfort, security and self worth. Stop.... just stop. They’re not worth it and they’ll mess you up. You’ll mess them up too, and that’s what will make you stop and think. Don’t let it get to that stage.
I desperately want to tell you to stay away from Rob. Boy is he Bad News. But he is also your first love and I can’t take that away from you. You need to learn the hard way and this ridiculous excuse for a relationship is the only way you’ll do it. Please, please learn quicker though. Don’t let it go on for 5 years like I did. Be quick to learn that no matter how much he tells you that you are sexy and hot and do all the right things.... this isn’t the only way to be attractive to someone. It isn’t the only way to make boys like you. You don’t need to do any of this. It’s not the way you will get your husband. Be pure. Say no. But you know what, don’t feel guilty either. God loves you more than you could possibly know. Don’t hold on to that guilt so much that you end up spilling the beans to your mum when you are 27 in an excruciatingly embarrassing conversation in the conservatory.
Definitely stay away from Pete though. He’s sending his ex dirty text messages. And face it – he’s pretty but he’s short.
Uni won’t be much fun but hang in there. It’s worth it for the friends you make. You’ll never learn to love clubbing, so stop going. Sit in a pub and chat with your friends and then go home to your nice warm bed.
|You'll definitely need these friends in years to come|
Your teaching career will never take off but you need it for the future, so stick at it. Just don’t let it grind you down and don’t let it make you feel worthless. Soon you will be doing a job so fulfilling and enjoyable you'll look back and see exactly how God brought you there. Jeremiah 29:11.
I’m writing this from my house where I live with my husband and cat (see, you even get a cat) so your hopes and dreams do come true. The important bit is that they happen WHEN YOU STOP WAITING FOR THEM TO HAPPEN (which is why it took so long, you eejit).
|See? It's all good! And.... he's TALL! You're wearing 4 in heels in that photo!|
Just sit back and enjoy your life. Trust in God, He’s got your back.